Weekends are here, and itâs time for some laughs! What better way to kick off your Saturday than with some hilarious weekend jokes? Theyâre perfect for sharing with friends and family! đ
Did you know that laughter can boost your mood? Itâs true! A good laugh can even improve your immune system.
Everyone loves a good joke, right? They break the ice and lighten the mood. Plus, theyâre a great way to bond with others!
As the weekend rolls in, letâs embrace the silliness. Grab your favorite drink and settle in. Itâs time to enjoy some giggles! â
Content Highlights â¨
I. Best Weekend Jokes
Kick off your weekend with a smile! These light-hearted jokes are perfect for sharing with family and friends to brighten up your days off.
- Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
- What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!
- Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
- What did one wall say to the other wall? I’ll meet you at the corner!
- Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired!
- What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta!
- How do you organize a space party? You planet!
- Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one!
- What did the zero say to the eight? Nice belt!
- Why did the computer go to the doctor? Because it had a virus!
- What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese!
- How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together!
- Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems!
- What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? Supplies!
- Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
- How do you catch a squirrel? Climb a tree and act like a nut!
- What do you call a fish wearing a bowtie? Sofishticated!
- Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon? Because she will let it go!
- What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato!
- Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged!

II. One Liner Weekend Jokes
Kick off your weekend with a chuckle! These quick-witted one-liners are sure to lighten the mood and spark laughter among friends and family.
- Q: Why did the golfer bring two pairs of socks? A: In case he got a hole in one!
- Q: What did the fish say when it hit the wall? A: Dam!
- Q: Why donât skeletons fight each other? A: They donât have the guts!
- Q: What do you call an alligator in a vest? A: An investigator!
- Q: Why was the broom late? A: It swept in!
- Q: What do you call a factory that makes good products? A: A satisfactory!
- Q: Why did the picture go to jail? A: It was framed!
- Q: How do you make a tissue dance? A: Put a little boogie in it!
- Q: Why did the scarecrow win an award? A: Because he was outstanding in his field!
- Q: What do you call a bear with no ears? A: B!
- Q: Why canât you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom? A: Because the “P” is silent!
- Q: What do you call a fake noodle? A: An impasta!
- Q: Why did the math book look sad? A: Because it had too many problems!
- Q: What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? A: An abdominal snowman!
- Q: Why did the computer keep freezing? A: It left its Windows open!
- Q: How does a penguin build its house? A: Igloos it together!
- Q: What do you call a pile of cats? A: A meowtain!
- Q: Why did the bicycle fall over? A: Because it was two-tired!
- Q: What do you call cheese that isnât yours? A: Nacho cheese!
- Q: What did one hat say to the other? A: You stay here, Iâll go on ahead!
- Q: Why did the tomato turn red? A: Because it saw the salad dressing!
III. Weekend Jokes Q&A
Brighten your weekend with these fun Q&A jokes! Perfect for sharing with friends and family, theyâre sure to spark laughter all around.
- Q: Why did the cookie go to the doctor? A: Because it felt crummy!
- Q: What did the ocean say to the beach? A: Nothing, it just waved!
- Q: Why was the computer cold? A: It left its Windows open!
- Q: What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? A: An abdominal snowman!
- Q: Why did the golfer bring an extra pair of pants? A: In case he got a hole in one!
- Q: How does a scientist freshen her breath? A: With experi-mints!
- Q: What do you call a bear with no teeth? A: A gummy bear!
- Q: Why did the bicycle fall over? A: Because it was two-tired!
- Q: What do you call a fish with no eyes? A: Fsh!
- Q: How does a penguin build its house? A: Igloos it together!
- Q: Why don’t skeletons fight each other? A: They don’t have the guts!
- Q: What do you call a can opener that doesnât work? A: A canât opener!
- Q: Why did the scarecrow win an award? A: Because he was outstanding in his field!
- Q: What did one wall say to the other? A: I’ll meet you at the corner!
- Q: What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? A: Supplies!
- Q: Why was the math book sad? A: Because it had too many problems!
- Q: What did the grape do when it got stepped on? A: Nothing, it just let out a little wine!
- Q: Why did the tomato turn red? A: Because it saw the salad dressing!
- Q: What do you call an alligator in a vest? A: An investigator!
- Q: Why did the coffee file a police report? A: It got mugged!
- Q: What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A: A pouch potato!

IV. Funny Weekend Jokes
Kick off your weekend with a smile! These light-hearted jokes are perfect for sharing with family and friends to brighten up your days off.
- Why did the stadium get hot after the game? Because all the fans left!
- What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus!
- Why did the cookie cry? Because its mom was a wafer (away for) so long!
- What did the grape do when it got stepped on? Nothing, it just let out a little wine!
- Why donât skeletons ever go trick or treating? Because they have no body to go with!
- What do you call a belt made of watches? A waist of time!
- Why did the math book look sad? Because it had too many problems!
- What do you call a bear thatâs stuck in the rain? A drizzly bear!
- Why did the golfer bring an extra pair of socks? In case he got a hole in one!
- What do you call a factory that makes good products? A satisfactory!
- Why did the music teacher go to jail? Because she got caught with too many sharp notes!
- What do you call an alligator wearing a vest? An investigator!
- Why did the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two-tired!
- How do you catch a squirrel? Climb a tree and act like a nut!
- Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
- What did one hat say to the other? You stay here, Iâll go on ahead!
- Why donât scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
- What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman!
- What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? Supplies!
- Why was the computer cold? It left its Windows open!
- What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato!
V. Weekend Jokes for Friends
Brighten up your weekend with these hilarious jokes! Perfect for sharing with friends, they’ll guarantee a good laugh and create memorable moments together.
- Why did the scarecrow become a successful motivational speaker? Because he was outstanding in his field!
- What do you call a fish that practices medicine? A sturgeon!
- Why did the computer go to the party? Because it had a byte!
- What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? Supplies!
- How do you organize a fantastic space party? You planet!
- Why did the math book look sad? Because it had too many problems!
- What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta!
- Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one!
- What did one ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, they just waved!
- Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because it felt crummy!
- What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!
- Why was the broom late? It swept in!
- What do you call a belt made of watches? A waist of time!
- Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired!
- What did the grape do when it got stepped on? Nothing, it just let out a little wine!
- Why donât skeletons fight each other? They donât have the guts!
- What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman!
- Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
- What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese!
- How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together!
VI. Weekend Jokes for Family
Share a laugh with your loved ones! These family-friendly jokes are sure to entertain everyone and create joyful moments together.
- Why did the chicken join a band? Because it had the drumsticks!
- What do you call a sleeping bull? A bulldozer!
- Why did the kid bring a ladder to school? Because he wanted to go to high school!
- What do you call an alligator wearing a vest? An investigator!
- Why did the computer keep freezing? It left its Windows open!
- What did the stamp say to the envelope? Stick with me, and weâll go places!
- Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one!
- What did one snowman say to the other? Do you smell carrots?
- Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
- What do you call a bear with no ears? B!
- Why was the broom late? It swept in!
- How do you organize a space party? You planet!
- What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese!
- Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired!
- What do you call a fish that practices medicine? A sturgeon!
- Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They donât have the guts!
- What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? Supplies!
- Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because it felt crummy!
- What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato!
- How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together!
- Why did the math book look sad? Because it had too many problems!
VII. Clever Weekend Jokes
Clever jokes are the perfect way to kick off your Weekend Jokes! Share these witty one-liners with friends and family for some light-hearted fun.
- Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one!
- What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman!
- Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired!
- How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together!
- What did one wall say to the other wall? I’ll meet you at the corner!
- Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
- What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? Supplies!
- Why did the computer go to the doctor? Because it had a virus!
- What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!
- Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
- What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta!
- Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
- How do you organize a space party? You planet!
- What did one hat say to the other? You stay here, Iâll go on ahead!
- Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because it felt crummy!
- What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato!
- Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems!
- What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese!
- What do you call a factory that makes good products? A satisfactory!
- Why did the music teacher go to jail? Because she got caught with too many sharp notes!
VIII. Short Weekend Jokes

These quick and witty short jokes are perfect for a weekend laugh! Share them with friends and family to spread joy and smiles all around.
- Why did the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two-tired!
- What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh!
- Why donât skeletons fight each other? They donât have the guts!
- What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef!
- Why did the stadium get hot after the game? Because all the fans left!
- What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato!
- Why did the cookie cry? Because its mom was a wafer (away for) so long!
- What did one wall say to the other wall? I’ll meet you at the corner!
- What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!
- Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
- What did the grape do when it got stepped on? Nothing, it just let out a little wine!
- Why was the broom late? It swept in!
- How do you organize a space party? You planet!
- What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? Supplies!
- Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one!
- What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese!
- Why did the computer go to the doctor? Because it had a virus!
- How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together!
- What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus!
- What did the fish say when it hit the wall? Dam!
IX. Weekend Jokes for Kids
Bring laughter to your weekend with these kid-friendly jokes! Perfect for family gatherings, these jokes are sure to elicit giggles and smiles from everyone.
- Why did the teddy bear say no to dessert? Because it was already stuffed!
- What do you call a dinosaur that is sleeping? A dino-snore!
- Why did the student eat his homework? Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
- What do you call a cow that can play a musical instrument? A moo-sician!
- Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems!
- What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta!
- Why did the cookie go to the hospital? Because it felt crummy!
- What do you call a bear with no ears? B!
- Why did the banana go to the doctor? Because it wasn’t peeling well!
- What did the grape do when it got stepped on? Nothing, it just let out a little wine!
- Why did the computer keep freezing? It left its Windows open!
- What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman!
- Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired!
- What did one wall say to the other wall? I’ll meet you at the corner!
- What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato!
- Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
- What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh!
- Why donât skeletons fight each other? They donât have the guts!
- What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? Supplies!
- How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together!
- What do you call a sleeping bull? A bulldozer!
X. Clean Weekend Jokes
Kick off your weekend with a good laugh! These clean and family-friendly jokes are perfect for sharing with everyone, ensuring smiles and giggles all around.
- Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one!
- What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!
- Why did the computer go to the doctor? Because it had a virus!
- What did one hat say to the other? You stay here, Iâll go on ahead!
- How do you organize a space party? You planet!
- What did the zero say to the eight? Nice belt!
- Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired!
- What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese!
- What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? Supplies!
- Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
- What do you call a fish wearing a bowtie? Sofishticated!
- Why did the stadium get hot after the game? Because all the fans left!
- How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together!
- What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta!
- Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems!
- Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because it felt crummy!
- What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato!
- What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator!
- Why did the music teacher go to jail? Because she got caught with too many sharp notes!
- What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus!
XI. Silly Weekend Jokes
Brighten your weekend with these silly jokes that are sure to spark laughter! Perfect for sharing with family and friends, theyâll create joyful moments together.
- What do you call a fish that wears a bowtie? Sofishticated!
- Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because it felt crummy!
- What did the grape do when it got stepped on? Nothing, it just let out a little wine!
- Why did the banana go to the doctor? Because it wasn’t peeling well!
- What do you call a cow that can play a musical instrument? A moo-sician!
- Why did the teddy bear say no to dessert? Because it was already stuffed!
- What do you call a sleeping bull? A bulldozer!
- What did one snowman say to the other? Do you smell carrots?
- Why did the student eat his homework? Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
- What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato!
- What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? Supplies!
- Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired!
- What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator!
- Why donât skeletons fight each other? They donât have the guts!
- Why did the math book look sad? Because it had too many problems!
- What do you call a bear with no ears? B!
- Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
- What do you call a dinosaur that is sleeping? A dino-snore!
- What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese!
- How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together!
XII. Weekend Jokes to Share
Brighten up your weekend with these hilarious jokes! Perfect for sharing with family and friends, they’ll guarantee a good laugh and create memorable moments together.
- Why did the computer keep freezing? It left its Windows open!
- What do you call a dinosaur that is sleeping? A dino-snore!
- Why did the teddy bear say no to dessert? Because it was already stuffed!
- What did one wall say to the other wall? I’ll meet you at the corner!
- Why did the banana go to the doctor? Because it wasn’t peeling well!
- What do you call a cow that can play a musical instrument? A moo-sician!
- Why did the cookie go to the hospital? Because it felt crummy!
- What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato!
- Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems!
- What do you call a bear with no ears? B!
- Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired!
- What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh!
- Why donât skeletons fight each other? They donât have the guts!
- What did the grape do when it got stepped on? Nothing, it just let out a little wine!
- Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
- What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? Supplies!
- How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together!
- What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman!
- Why did the chicken join a band? Because it had the drumsticks!
- What do you call a factory that makes good products? A satisfactory!

XIII. Hilarious Weekend Jokes
Kick off your weekend with laughter! These hilarious jokes are perfect for sharing with family and friends, bringing joy and smiles to your days off.
- Why did the math book look sad? Because it had too many problems!
- What do you call a factory that makes good products? A satisfactory!
- Why did the computer go to the doctor? Because it had a virus!
- How do you organize a space party? You planet!
- What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato!
- What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? Supplies!
- Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
- What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese!
- Why donât skeletons fight each other? They donât have the guts!
- What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman!
- Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired!
- What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!
- Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because it felt crummy!
- What did one wall say to the other wall? I’ll meet you at the corner!
- Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one!
- What did one hat say to the other? You stay here, Iâll go on ahead!
- How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together!
- Why did the grape do when it got stepped on? Nothing, it just let out a little wine!
- What do you call a fish that wears a bowtie? Sofishticated!
- What do you call a dinosaur that is sleeping? A dino-snore!
XIV. Classic Weekend Jokes
Enjoy timeless humor with these classic jokes! Perfect for sharing, these witty one-liners will spark laughter and bring joy to your weekend gatherings.
- Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side!
- What do you call a fish that sings? A bass singer!
- Why did the computer go to the beach? To surf the net!
- What do you call a bear with no ears? B!
- Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired!
- What do you call a snowman in the summer? A puddle!
- Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems!
- What did the grape do when it got stepped on? Nothing, it just let out a little wine!
- Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one!
- What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef!
- Why donât scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
- What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? Supplies!
- How do you organize a space party? You planet!
- What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta!
- Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
- What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato!
- Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because it felt crummy!
- What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator!
- Why did the music teacher go to jail? Because she got caught with too many sharp notes!
- What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus!
XV. New Weekend Jokes
Brighten your weekend with these fresh and funny jokes! Perfect for sharing with friends and family, they are sure to create laughter and joy all around.
- Why did the computer break up with the internet? It found a new connection!
- What did one plate say to another? Dinner’s on me!
- Why donât eggs tell jokes? Because they might crack up!
- What did the tree say to the math book? Leaf me alone!
- Why was the broom late? It swept in at the last minute!
- What do you call a snowman with a sunburn? A puddle!
- Why did the picture go to jail? Because it was framed!
- What did the ocean say to the beach? Nothing, it just waved!
- Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
- What do you call a dog magician? A labracadabrador!
- How do you make a lemon drop? Just let it fall!
- What do you call a bear that can do math? A mathlete!
- Why did the stadium get hot after the game? Because all the fans left!
- What did one wall say to the other wall? I’ll meet you at the corner!
- Why donât scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
- What did the farmer say after his tractor broke? “That’s a plow of trouble!”
- Why did the golfer bring an extra pair of socks? In case he got a hole in one!
- What do you call a fish without eyes? Fsh!
- What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta!
- Why did the cookie cry? Because its mom was a wafer (away for) so long!
Weekend Jokes FAQ: Because Laughter is the Best Weekend Companion!
Brighten your weekends with our collection of lighthearted jokes that are perfect for family fun and laughter!
What are some funny weekend jokes for kids?
Here are a few kid-friendly weekend jokes: Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field! And what do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!
Can I share weekend jokes at family gatherings?
Absolutely! Weekend jokes are a great way to bring families together. They can lighten the mood and create a joyful atmosphere for everyone involved.
Are there any themed weekend jokes?
Yes! You can find themed weekend jokes related to activities like camping, picnics, or even movie nights. They add an extra layer of fun to your weekend plans!
How can I create my own weekend jokes?
Start by thinking about common weekend activities. Use puns or play on words related to those activities. For example, âWhy donât scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything, just like my weekend plans!â
Where can I find more weekend jokes?
You can explore various websites, social media platforms, or joke books dedicated to family-friendly humor. They often have a treasure trove of weekend jokes waiting for you!
Are weekend jokes suitable for all ages?
Yes! Weekend jokes are designed to be family-friendly and can be enjoyed by people of all ages. They promote laughter without any inappropriate content.
What makes a joke a good weekend joke?
A good weekend joke is light-hearted, easy to understand, and brings a smile to peopleâs faces. It should be relatable to weekend activities or experiences.
Can I use weekend jokes on social media?
Definitely! Sharing weekend jokes on social media is a fun way to engage with friends and family. Just make sure they are appropriate and light-hearted!
Do weekend jokes have to be short?
While short jokes are often punchy and effective, longer jokes can also work if they build up to a funny punchline. Itâs all about delivery and timing!
Whatâs the best way to tell a weekend joke?
Timing is key! Deliver your joke with enthusiasm and confidence. Make eye contact and engage your audience for the best reaction!
Wrap Up
Weekend jokes bring laughter and joy to everyone. They brighten your days and lighten your mood.
Sharing a good laugh is always a great idea. Jokes can create memorable moments with friends and family. Everyone enjoys a little humor on weekends.
Make your weekends more enjoyable with our jokes. Laughter is the best way to unwind and relax. It’s the perfect remedy for a long week.
Remember to bookmark our site for daily updates. We share fresh jokes every day for your enjoyment. Don’t forget to share them with friends! đ
Thank you for taking the time to read! Your support means a lot to us. We hope to see you back for more laughs! đ